Navigating Life's Curves: Focus on Where You Want to Go
My older brother was the first person to teach me how to drive. It was a humbling experience, often filled with him yelling “FAIL” whenever I messed up or didn’t follow the rules. His feedback could definitely rattle my nerves, but I loved those moments with him. He taught me the basics of driving, sure, but also something deeper about connection and showing up for each other. We were both in university at the time, and he could have been anywhere else—hanging out with friends, studying, living his own life. But instead, he chose to be there with me, in that car, for hours on end.
One lesson that has always stuck with me is about navigating a curve: keep your focus on the curve's end to make the turn feel smoother.
He explained that when you focus your eyes on the end of the turn, it naturally guides your steering and makes the whole process feel effortless. If you fixate on every point along the curve, your steering becomes jerky and inconsistent, constantly readjusting instead of flowing smoothly. It was simple advice, but it’s stayed with me—not just for driving, but for life. Keep your eyes on where you’re going, and the rest will follow.
This weekend, as my brother shared his day with my daughter, once again giving her the gift of time and meaningful connection he had given me during our driving lessons, we found ourselves talking about responding to challenges. He shared a moment of reflection on not reacting to a trigger but instead leaning into how we’d prefer the interaction to unfold—and leading from that place.
It immediately made me think of his lesson on curves: how looking to the end allows you to steer with intention and purpose rather than reacting to every small bump or distraction along the way. Just like on the road, focusing on the bigger picture in challenging interactions helps guide us toward smoother outcomes. By leading from the place of how we want things to be, rather than getting stuck in the triggers, we navigate life’s curves with the same grace and clarity he taught me behind the wheel.
His advice—“Look to the end of the curve”—was simple but profound. It wasn’t just about driving; it was about trusting where you want to go and letting that focus guide you. That same wisdom applies far beyond the driver’s seat—it’s a lesson in intentionality.
As I watched him with my daughter, I reflected on how often we let the small bumps in the road pull our attention away from where we truly want to go. Life is full of distractions, challenges, and unexpected twists. But when we focus on where we want to end up—how we want to feel, the connections we want to nurture, the goals we hope to achieve—our actions become more purposeful, and our path feels smoother.
As we enter the new year, this lesson feels especially timely. It’s a chance to pause and ask ourselves: Where do I want to go? How do I want to feel? By staying connected to our own sense of knowing, we stay on course, pointed in the direction of what truly matters, even when the road shifts beneath us.